What will others think? How is their thing so good? How can my things compare? Are my things as good as I need them to be? How can I compete? Why do I want to make things a competition? Why do I need approval? Why do I want to be recognised? Why is that a dream even though a lot of what it entails is off-putting? When will I be satisfied? Will I ever be satisfied? Why do I want attention when I find the deeper happiness when no one is watching? Is it only a short overwhelming rush? Who do I really want to impress? Whose opinions truly matter to me? How can I overcome the context? Why do I want to play for people? What’s changed since the days I was happy playing just for myself? How far away is the place where I just simply enjoy playing with the other musicians? Why do I let the world make me feel so small? Why can’t I be happy being simple and small? Why can’t I enjoy the fact that no one cares? Why is that not so sweet in itself? Is the only version of this life that can matter to me mine? Can I only ever live through my own eyes? Is my small patch of people and places big enough for me to be content? Could I expand it for myself without worrying about who else will see? Why do I want to be seen through eyes I can’t see through myself? How can I let go of wanting to do things for the attention of others? How can I be content doing my things for my own enjoyment? Running my own agenda and doing things for the people I know, not the faceless mass that I don’t? Why do I compare myself to people I don’t know? Why do I let comparisons strangle? Why can’t I take joy and not intimidation from the things that move me? How can I fuel myself on the things I love and not be held back by them? How can I forget the things that I don’t love and not feel that I have spent my time cursing? Why do I feel that I don’t shape up? Why do I feel it’s unfair when I don’t feel that others shape up to me? Why do I want the things other people have and feel slighted that I don’t have them? Isn’t the entire reason I love this that it isn’t any kind of competition?
Quit Vision 